Janathon day 5: The one where I weigh myself

I should maybe sleep before I post.

Why? Well, I rejoined Weight Watchers tonight. Which means I weighed in. I knew it would be bad, I even mentally prepared myself for the worst. Which was good, seeing as my "worst" was nearly exactly my weight. In short, I thought I had gained about 10 pounds this year. In fact, I've gained 18.

WTF, Me?

When I put it down on paper, it all makes sense. In June, I stopped nursing Chou. For some, breastfeeding does not help them lose weight, for me, it was nature's way of saying "eat whatever you want! The baby will suck it out of you!" And she did. My fittest and leanest I've been in the past three (make that 16) years was when she was full on nursing and I was training for a half. There's a lesson there. Maybe. Second, I changed jobs in Feb/March, but was in the easy phase of my job. September started the busy season (and it's about to get much worse). Just prior to that, however, I buggered up my hip, putting any running on the back burner (as in, I just stopped. Everything). Then things got more than a little stressful here at home, and well, I started filling my face. And filling it some more. Then, in the last two months it all caught up with me. My guess is I've gained a full 10 to 12 pounds in just the last two months. Yes, really.

As far as eating goes, I started some bad habits, too — cream for my coffee and 2% milk the rest of the time, full fat cheese, too much pasta and potatoes and not enough leafy leafies. Somehow crackers and chips made there way back into our house, and I've been baking like crazy and not sharing.

The bottom line is, my goal of 15 lb by Chou's birthday is still my goal, but that will still leave me a full 16 pounds away from my goal weight (instead of another five or so). That's right...31 pounds to lose (and that's still on the high side of "acceptable" for my height, according to WW). THIRTY ONE POUNDS. What ticks me off is that I've done this all before. Jeepers, what was I thinking? This time last year I would have had only 13 to lose, not 31. That THAT just pisses me off.

But, alas, I'm rambling.

On the plus side, I'm really looking forward to getting to know the new WW program, and I walked home feeling upset with myself, but excited and empowered to get going on it. I only knew one person in the room of 15, meaning I might make some new friends. I also completely underestimated the value of having to weigh in in front of someone every week. I know, for a smart girl I sure can be dumb.

As fitting punishment to my new (high) low, I have a week's worth of meetings next week and have exactly ZERO dress pants that fit. Oh, did I mention I split my "fat" jeans on New Year's Eve? And every dress shirt I own is now tight on the arms or shows off more of my boobs than I'd like (even while I'm ovulating). What does all this mean? It means that I, Ms. CaddyWumpus, not only has to shop for new clothes (kill me now), but I have to buy all clothes one to two sizes bigger than I want to (kill me, I said!).

AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

That's right, all my fault. I get that. Which also means doing something about it is also entirely up to me. And so I shall.

Janathon totals: Yoga 5/5, Run 2/5, Shred 2/5 (plus today I walked to the WW meeting and back. A surprising number of people drove. Lazy bums!)

So THAT'S what I'm doing wrong

I read this today.
The long and the short of it is this: there's actually a reasonable strategy to maintaining a healthy weight. As I read over the list, I was all "Duh! This is such common sense!" Which, of course, it is. But how is it then that I, Miss Super Duper Smart(ass?), managed to balloon back up to my pre-pregnancy weight? Sigh, yes, well. I suppose it IS time to pay attention to this fabulous little list. Here's a rundown of where I've gone wrong and what I'm going to do about it.
1. Eat breakfast
This one is no worries. I do this - 1/2 cup of rolled oats, boiled in water, with cinnamon and raisins. That's it. Every. Single. Morning. Because I'm mostly a pony. Yes, I am. I think what I need to do is add some fruit and maybe protein.
2. Banish bad foods from home.
I do OK on this, but can always do better. Duly noted, Common Sense List.
3. Be consistent.
I guess binge/stress eating consistently doesn't count? Dammit.
4. Plan activity.
Eating, I've discovered, does not count as "activity". I can do 60 mins of activity a day. I know I can. I just have to plan for it.
5. Tune out.
Well, I sit at a computer all day. Not much I can do about that. But I CAN keep it and the TV off past 7 pm and on weekends.
6. Weigh in.
My home scale has collected roughly .5 lb of dust, I'm sure. Next week, Wednesday, I'm re-joining WW. That's right. I said it. I shall weigh in there.
7. Record it.
See end of point 6.
8. Share it.
Hey! You're here! And based on TWO whole comments from last post, I think this means I have someone to share with. Hello, sharing buddies! Thanks for stopping by.

And so, here we go.
My goal is 15 lb by March 23. That's just a hair over 1 lb a week - a safe, healthy and attainable level of weight loss. It's not my goal weight, but the article also says to set specific, shorter-term goals vs. large, lofty ones. Ta da!

Now, your turn!

I have adoring fans, apparently

I got a super awesome message on my FB page. I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like this:
"Ms. Wumpus, you are my world and I love you and I miss you and your brilliant blog writing. Please write more. Love, your biggest fan."

So I'm paraphrasing A LOT, but Smithers of See Teacher Run does have a point — I haven't blogged in two months. TWO months.

What? How did that happen.

Let me tell you.

In the last two months, I've been eating (a lot), sleeping, working (sort of), heading out on location for work, drinking (a lot), attending a birth (forceps delivery - some very scary moments but I think I'm finally confident in my abilities as a doula), eating some more and drinking some more.

Also, I tried working out exactly four times in these last two months. My last attempt was a run. I was actually enjoying the first three minutes until I realized that horrid wheezy sound was coming from me and I needed a walk break. The too-tight running bra might have been my first clue, but whatever. Nonetheless, I soldiered on, running and walking. Until minute 17 when whatever the hell happened to my hip in late August, happened again, only much much worse. I hobbled home and tried not to cry. Then I ate some more.

I'm not going to wallow in self pity (I'm wallowing in emotional eating just fine thank you), but here's what I've learned in the last two months: I can't work at home anymore and I think my family is allergic to Saskatchewan.

WTF, you say? Well, yes, it's true. As much as a great big huge part of me (not my ass, but that would have been funny, you clever reader) is madly in love with this Prairie Province and could see myself setting up a tidy little goat/sheep farm and toiling the rest of my days without a hill in sight, it's not going to work. Not for my family, not for my long-term mental health and not for my fitness. I need people around me. I need friends who want to work out with me and have silly weight loss contests (but in person...all I've done for the weight loss contest with Jen is GAIN 10 lb, and I'm not making that up). I need MY people. And I haven't found many here. Not enough, anyway.

What do we do about that? Well, nothing yet. It could be many moons before anything really changes, but I think, in the long-ish term, we have to pack up and move...somewhere.

And I have to stop eating incessantly. Can someone sew my mouth shut? Thanks.

Oh, and merry Christmas and happy new year and all that jazz.

I need more coffee. With booze in it.