Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Delinquent

I have several posts already written in my head. One is titled "At 32", the other "Reasons why I'm not blogging."

The trouble is, there is no magic way of making these blogs magically appear beyond physically typing them and these days I have very little time for typing.

And so I shall do a Bloggess type "Things I was doing while I wasn't here" recap (except that she does them every week and I haven't posted since June.

- Baking a baby. By now the entire world knows, because, well I'm 22 weeks and it's been Facebook news for like ever. More on this pregnancy later, including belly photos. A very large belly, I might add
- Finding a replacement for my 8 month mat leave
- Deciding to take only 8, not 12 months. (The hubby is taking the last 4)
- Feeling decidedly spoiled in being able to have 12 months of leave. I'm so sorry, Americano counterparts! Your systems sucks balls.
- Signing Chou up for dance and music and buying her first ever tap shoes and ballet slippers. WTF? Yes, it's true.
- Reno'ing the house, partially because we want to, partially because we have to. (more on that later, too)
- Stressing about money
- Buying a new (to us) truck
- Stressing even more about money
- Attending a marathon birth for close friends
- Wanting to do nothing but doula full time but see first point (so not going to happen for a solid few years yet)
- Saying goodbye to coffee, only to rediscover it as 1/3 cream, 2/3 coffee in my second trimester
- Missing my friends like crazy, but finally making some new ones here
- Saying goodbye to working out, eating too much and gaining 8 lb in 8 weeks (more on that later too)

Phew. OK, I promise a new blog post by the end of the week...month?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Oh, right. Juneathon

Apparently I'm not very good at keeping track of the calendar. Case in point, I'm happily reading along to Smithers's silly adventures when BAM! she drops a Juneathon challenge. What's that all about? I say. Only to realize that yes, indeed, it is nearly June. That was Sunday. I promptly went out and ran a miserable, slow, bug-riddled 30 minutes. Miserable yes, but done.

And so, I emailed said Smithers and told her that I would, in fact, accept her Juneathon throw down, would love to be Super Wump, and would abso-smurphly love to use her fancy wheel of points (she made it and had to explain to me how to post it on my blog, because, well, I'm sort of a dolt when it comes to these things).

I give you my Juneathon goals and point breakdown:
5 points each day I do 45 min of true exercise
5 points for each run totaling 30 mins or more (I'm going for time, not distance, as that's how sorry a runner I am right now). So, that means if I run for 30 mins and do something else for 15-30 minutes, I'd get 10 points. Got it?
5 points for yoga (as that doesn't count in the 45 min category. Why? Don't ask, just go with it)
-100 points for failing to eat 5 salads a week (meal-sized salads, I mean)

Weeks run Wednesday to Wednesday, and I was clever and started working out daily since Sunday. I've already achieved my first point (yay for 45 mins of exercise today!), but I have not eaten a salad...will work on that. I have no weight loss goals, I just need to move and eat well. That's what I'm all about right now.

Oh, and the fancy dial thing Smithers made? I'm still figuring out how to post it on my blog. See? Dolt.

Post Script: I did it! And look, a point!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Take it easy

How has it been over a month since I've posted? Sheesh.

It's been a busy stretch, but I'm thankful and excited to be heading into the very slow time with work. Last summer, I was so concerned about what it would take to put a monthly magazine together, I sat at my desk for hours not doing anything but petrified that if I left my desk I'd some how not get the job done.

This year, I know that when I need to work, I work hard. But after doing three issues a month, one a month is very manageable. I've accepted this so easily that I've even decided to actually take holidays. And real ones! Not ones where I still work. No, a real vacation, a week away without interviews, notes, editing and proofing.

First, we're spending a week in Ottawa in early June. Then we'll have a stay-cation in July. Then in late July I'll take a week in Winnipeg. In early September, we're going to Victoria to visit friends and celebrate our sixth anniversary. All of this might seem very ho-hum to most, but for me, for us, we never, ever do this. And I cannot wait.

What are you doing for fun this summer?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Three

Miss Chou Chou Magoo is no longer two. She is three, or, as she informed me on the ride home yesterday, "I don't want to be three. I'm four." Which essentially captures what it means to be three — smart enough to be sassy and willful, but young enough to be cute and endearing (making it easier to take the first part of that statement).

I know that I've long fallen off the Chou monthly update wagon, but on this her third birthday, I thought I should at the very least make an effort to jot down what life is like with her now.

First, Chou is a...um...stubborn/smart/willful/determined/bright/friendly/temperamental/musically inclined/loud/athletic child. See? A good mix of the trying and the terrific. Chou is active, mentally and physically, loves singing, playing make believe, colouring and painting, playing king of the castle and some sort of "Bees attack!" game she learned from her friend Jack. She's more aggressive lately, I think because of all the time she's spending at daycare (it's not daycare so much as the group of kids she's playing with, and it's not bad, just different). She still loves to help me cook and bake, and we still have pre and post supper family dance parties. She'd rather be outside and moving than inside watching TV, but she's decidedly in love with certain shows (Dora is a recent addition, but Ruby and Max and the Cat in the Hat are favs). Her vocabulary grows daily, and I love that she uses uncommon words for a girl of her age. Chou still loves her routine, so much so that fits erupt if someone, namely me, has the audacity to remove the lid of her yogurt before she can. The Horror! And yes, that is one of the fun things about being three — the drama. Oh, the drama. As in, I may not call her "babe" as it's far too close to "baby" of which she is NOT, I am often reminded.

But she's also a magnificently confident child, makes friends easily and is willing to climb new hills and explore new lands with courage and wonder. She is actually upset when I show up to pick her up from daycare in the car. "Where's the Chariot?" she demands. Our walks home full of puddle jumping, snow hill climbing, rock collecting and mail fetching take f-o-r-e-v-e-r, but I savour our time outside in the fresh air. Which makes this winter that will never end that much harder, as I simply can't wait to spend as many hours as possible hiking and exploring.

When it comes to describing Chou, the words come easily, but any parent knows that when you try and convey all the love and pride and wonder you feel for your child, words always fail. And so it is with me. Quite simply, she is my everything and each and every second she's away from me I feel incomplete. I love her more than I ever thought someone could love.

And then she comes home, throws a fit over nothing and demands a Baby Bel cheese. Yup, that's my girl.
7 a.m, watching "kid shows" as she calls them. Couch snuggling is one of my favorite things to do. Hers too, I think. Happy birthday, babe.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A conspiring universe

For anyone who hasn't read The Alchemist, I suggest you go and read it now. I'll wait.

***

Back? Good.

I'm not a religious person at all, but I am a rather firm believer in that which we cannot see. I believe in energy — that the more good and love we put out in to the world, the more it goes around and comes back to us, that people are intrinsically good and that when you put your wishes out to the universe, the universe conspires with you. No, I haven't had too much coffee, I've simply been practicing a bit more patience, and trying to be more content and aware of all that goes on around me.

Let's back up a bit.

I recently hit my one year mark at my current job. I expected a raise. Not a big one, mind you, just a raise. I had all these plans and goals of what I would do for the magazine and all the extra work I'd put in and all the travel I'd do. Then, I didn't get the raise. The boss says all is well, but no, no more money for you. My first reaction was to get pissy. Then I stood back and thought about what kind of message this might be.

For starters, I now know just how tough and time consuming this job is from December through March. As balance, I now know just how NOT tough it is May through June (there's a shoulder season on either side that's so-so; I do know there are 12 months. Duh). I also know that I've been craving more time with Chou Chou Magoo who is soon no longer two. And I have a doula client due now, one next month and another in July. Doula work fulfills me in ways a desk job never could, and spending time with Chou is priceless.

The connection? I think that if I'd been given a raise, I'd feel more obligated to spend every spare moment of every day working, thinking about work, considering work. Instead, I feel like I can draw a line ME time vs. WORK time. I can feel good about this line — I can be proud of my work achievements and my work ethic, but I can take my evenings, weekends and early afternoons and savour them, guilt-free, with my daughter and any other hobbies or interests I choose to pursue. I can cultivate friendships, spend time working on my own health and offering my support for labouring women. My job, as it is, allows that.

And so we come around to International Women's Day and our conspiring universe. I have a doula client due next week, but I feel that baby is going to arrive any day (as in, today, in fact), and I was worried that my deadline this week would derail those plans. Yesterday, I had two things on my plate that I HAD to deal with, and one this morning, that, had she called, would have meant I either couldn't attend her birth, or would have had to attend only part. I asked the universe to just give me 'til Tuesday at lunch. Pretty please? And here we are, no baby and work "musts" getting crossed off the list.

What does this have to do with Women's Day? Not much really, except that I think my most valuable contribution to this day is to be there, fully and present with an open mind and heart, at a woman's most powerful and vulnerable point in her life — giving birth — and I'm just too happy to know the universe agrees.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Yoga-tta love it!

I'm a little sick of pity parties this week. I've been throwing them for myself for two days, two weeks, two months... you get the picture.

I weighed in on Wednesday. I was actually looking forward to this weigh in, as I had worked out regularly, maxed out on fibre and veggies and colourful deliciousness and stayed within my PointsPlus. So as the instructor wrote down +.4 I couldn't keep the edge out of my voice when I said "WHAT?" That's right, in four weeks I've lost ONE pound. One! Last time, on the Points system, I never lost less than .5 (even at Christmas) or more than two pounds. I was happy with that. Anyway...

I nearly rolled my eyes at the instructor all evening (somehow it's HER fault, right? I know it's not, but I don't like her much. What's with all the WW leaders being b!tchy?), but managed instead to focus on my beautiful daughter running around making everyone laugh and giggle.

On the way home I was ticked right off. I managed to avoid emotionally eating when I got home, but spent the better part of the evening looking up "pointsplus doesn't work" on Google. Turns out, not everyone is loving the new system...that was a bit of a consolation.

But I said no pity party, right?

Yesterday, I went back to the Jillian fat blast workout and tough yoga and then today I switched it up and did Level 1 Shred (yoga tonight).

Well, well, well. I'll say this much about yoga - it sure as heck works your core and upper body. I haven't done that well at Shred (especially the push ups and ab work) in forever.

I'm taking this little victory, re-focusing my WW attempt and going to stick it out a bit longer. Because more important than the scale is strength and fitness — and that part is working.

Monday, February 7, 2011

It's not you, it's me. Or, We're just on a break (and so it's not really cheating)

I had to break up with running again.

I know, I know. At this rate, he's never going to take me back, but it had to be done. At first, the decision put me into a bit of a tailspin. For whatever reason, in the back of my mind I equated "no running" with "no weight loss." I was convinced that not running would mean not ever getting back to a healthy weight and not ever being fit again. Which is stupid, of course, but when I starting taking my health seriously, running was a huge factor in my success. It's no wonder that now, as I re-focus and re-commit, the absence of running made me feel defeated before I even started.

Enter common sense.

After finally finding an experienced, knowledgeable massage therapist who gave me my first relief from pain since August, I sat back and re-evaluated my situation. First off, the damage to my hip is not muscular it's connective tissue damage and therefore is going to take a very long time to heal. Second, the best thing I can do for the hip is to strengthen my core, butt and hamstrings. Third, running is not going to do those things or, put another way, there are better, more effective ways to build strength than running. Fourth (and here's the big one), running is the only exercise that actually hurts. Yes, the hip gives me grief if I sit too long, or drive, or sleep funny, but all in all, yoga, Shred and Jillian's Fat Blast DON'T hurt it.

And so, I broke up with running. Not forever, no, we're just on a break, I say. But for now, there are other ways to drop weight and build strength and none of them have to hurt.

Sorry, running. You're just going to have to wait.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

BFFs




I realized some time ago that since getting my laptop, I don't really post photos on my blog anymore. BORING. I'll work on that, eh?

Also, I've spent the day knocked out with a stomach bug (nothing too bad, it just keeps me on the couch. Typing this way is difficult), but only after a morning of Chou having one last play date with her BFF Amaris. A didn't want to leave, and Hannah hugged her as hard as she could. We promise to meet up this summer either in Alberta or out on Vancouver Island where they will soon live. I just hope we do, because they are the cutest things ever when they play.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The week that was

It's been a big week, but mostly for everyone else.

Ms. Smithers became a Mama to baby Z.
Our neighbours announced they're moving...on Monday (they decided Wednesday)
Chou ended up sick for the third time in her life. And it's horrible.
I gained .2 lb in three weeks (but have only myself to blame)
Jen P signed up for races and eluded bears.

But back to the neighbours moving thing. I've been the "friend to move away" suddenly twice. Being on the receiving end really, really sucks, but even more so now that Chou is of an age to actually miss her friends. When we left Ottawa, I was heartbroken but Chou didn't really notice (she was a year old at the time). This time, Chou's best friend, who she talks about and asks about daily, is moving away. Chou's face lights up at the mention of her BFF. The two of them play so well together, and they're the only family I've met here that I can visit while Chou plays.

And that's the part that bothers me. After nearly two years here, I have made some friends — but most are stay at home mums that get together during the week days, making it nearly impossible for me to participate. One other mum did start running with me, but her son is a full 2 years younger than Chou, and so when we get together the kids can't play (yet). Meredith and her family were the only family with kids that we'd become friends enough to just drop in and share dinner with at the drop of a hat.

The night she told me she was leaving, I realized just how few real friends I've made out here. My heart aches for Chou, as I know it's going to take a very long time for her to wrap her mind around Amaris being gone. I was so looking forward to Chou having a real friend at her birthday (the first time that would have happened). But I'm sad for me too. There are some lovely people in this town, don't get me wrong, and a couple really neat mums and babes that I'd love to spend more time with, but it's just not happening.

For the first time in perhaps forever, I'm really struggling to fit in and be me. It's not fun and is weighing on me more than I'd care to admit most days. Let's blame the epic failure of round two of WW on that? Sure, why not.

To the good, I'm officially 4 for 4 for interviews/hiring of doula clients. This latest client is due mid-March (not the best timing), but after meeting this woman, I so wanted to attend her birth, and thankfully she feels the same. The doula-ing aspect of living here has been nothing but positive. That's something.

Monday, January 17, 2011

It should count for two

Grand total exercise I've done in four days: 1.5 mile walk.

HOWEVER

It was -24 degrees C (but a bright, shiny, dry cold! Um, no), and I had to push my 32 pound kid in the Chariot through a foot of freshly fallen snow.

That totally makes up for the three days of doing zero, right?

Janathon totals: It doesn't matter anymore, but I'm not going to let the stop me....I hope.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 11 and 12. I'm back!

I have maybe three minutes before I have to get back to the conference room, but let me say that both Tuesday and Wednesday I ran 3.1 miles and did ab work. No, it's not the hour-plus of working out I hoped to do each day, and yes, my beer consumption has been above the "one a day" I had hoped, but all in all, I've been eating mostly veggies, no desserts, lots of water and yes, I did run. I call that a win.

Oh, and yesterday would have been my week one weigh in. I couldn't make it, but I did successfully end the week with PointsPlus extra points available. I'm hopeful to see a loss next week...especially after I go home and eat nothing but fibre for four days. True story.

AND, for all my non-Canadian friends, I have been doing some outside travel to and from the show. It's been -23 ish. That's Celcius. Ugh.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 10: The one where I fail

Day 10. I did not run. I did not yoga. I did not lift weights.
I did, however, walk many miles in very high heels back and forth between conference rooms, my hotel room (I'm in layout for my magazine) and back to the conference rooms. My feet hurt and I'm more than a little bummed that I didn't work out, but I'm not exaggerating when I say I also had THREE meetings on top of all the conferences, plus had to go off-site for supper. On the plus side, I did manage to only go 3 to 6 (it's hard to say) points over on my day. I only ate meals at the conference and came up to my room to eat some fruit for snacks. This is likely the first time I haven't eaten a muffin, danish or other nummy nummy at a conference. That's a win for me.

Either way, all of this is to say, today will be better. I've blocked off 4-530 for ME and I will get it done. Somehow.

Begin virtual a$$ kicking....now.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Historic day in Wumpusland

Today has been, to borrow from Pooh-Bear, a Very Big Day.

This morning, I rolled out of bed at 5 a.m., showered, made coffee, bundled up my sweet toddler in a blanket and set off for the airport before 6 a.m. There was heavy snow last night, so we wanted to leave a bit early to get to the airport on time. Running five minutes ahead of schedule, we ran into a little snag...or rather a 3,500 lb snag. Our lovely neighbour's teenage son had parked his car directly in our lane. No way around it. At 5:40 in the morning, there we were knocking on said neighbour's door to ask them to move it.

I, being the genius that I am, checked the car - unlocked and, thank goodness, a standard. Without waiting for the dimwit next door to wake up, I yelled, "Let's just push the bloody thing out of the way." Which, after said dimwit couldn't find the keys, is exactly what we did. (It turns out it was his friend's car who had driven another friend home so that friend wouldn't drive drunk. Commendable, but maybe next time don't block someone's only way out of their driveway?). Ahem. Where was I?

Oh, yeah, historic day. Right.

So.

The reason we were going to the airport was to drop off Mr. Wumpus and Chou Chou Magoo for a five day extravaganza of family and friend time in Ontario. Did you catch that? Five days of daddy daughter time. In another province. By plane. Without mummy.

It also means mummy is sans Chou Chou for five days. Goodness, if it didn't feel so good to have some time to myself, I'd almost be sad.

(Really though, I'm glad she's in such a daddy phase or this would be stressful. I'd also be lying if I said I didn't cry a bit when they left. I also waited to watch their plane safely take off. I miss her already.)

On to historic day, part two and a Really Neat Something.

I'm currently at my hotel...and just got back in from running on the treadmill (3.1 miles, just under 34 mins-ish) and doing a 15 min weight/abs/stretch.

Big deal? Yes. Why? Because I've packed my runners on several occasions and only once that I can remember have I ever, ever used them while away on business. Instead of parking my butt and filling my face and wasting time, I actually unpacked, had a banana, drank some water, sent some emails, made a to-do list and promptly went and worked out. YES I DID. Thank you, Janathon!

On to the very neat thing, I had a woman call to see if I could be her doula in March. I met with her today and we sat and talked for TWO HOURS. I so very much hope she chooses me. The baby she is carrying is actually an adopted embryo - how cool is that? They tried all sorts of things, all the way to invitro with their own gametes, but had no success. They were/are on the wait list to adopt a baby, but received word last February that there were embryos up for adoption in another province. So while she is carrying the child, it's biologically someone else's. Isn't that a total mind blowing situation? And I love it and think she's wonderful and I want her to ask me to be her doula because THAT is one special baby in there.

It also makes me want to be a surrogate. It's so difficult to hear about others struggles with infertility. Seriously.

Back to work for me!

Janathon totals: Yoga 8/9, Run 4/9, Shred 3/9, Weight/Abs 1/9

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Yoga is not for the faint of heart

Day 8 of Janathon was fraught with danger. There's a snowstorm raging (-14 degrees C, but with wind, so it's also a bit chilly) and I had to buy an entire new dress-up wardrobe.
$400 later (no, I'm not keeping it all), I discovered that while yes, I had gone up a size, it was only one and I still managed to find at least three outfits that I could feel decent in, regardless of the extra chub. They'll look even better 10 pounds from now.
Then, I ran. Just a 34 minute jaunt, complete with mismatched winter running gear (the pants are, in fact, curling pants, and I have a John Deere scarf with red mittens, a pink Lulu tuque and a blue Running Room jacket. If ever you needed proof I'm not vain...there you have it). It was snowy and blowy and trudging through the snow drifts isn't much fun. The studs on my shoes are really only helpful with ice, but still, I manged 6 and 1s the entire time. I still didn't quite get to 3 miles, but it's been a week. I'm reminding myself of that.
Then, we yoga'd. We being the Husband and I while Chou Chou Magoo who is (soon no longer to be) two climbed all over me at inopportune times. I gave the Husband the choice of yoga routine - 45 min easy, 55 min easy ish, 60 min hardcore, 80 minutes of pure torture. The fool that he is chose the 60 minutes of hardcore, muscle-shaking yoga. It was, in a word, hardcore. I'm so going to do it again tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, the Husband is taking our sweet baby to Ontario to visit family. For five whole days. Away from me. The longest we've (me and Chou) ever been apart is two nights. If she weren't in such an "I love daddy" phase, I'd be worried.
Here's to day eight of Janathon, sexy skirts, flattering tops and hardcore yoga.

Janathon totals: Yoga 8/8, Run 4/8, Shred 3/8

Friday, January 7, 2011

On the seventh day, there was no rest

In many ways, I'm an overachiever. I work hard. I like doing things well. I like being good at something, whatever it is. If I'm dismal at it at the first go (i.e. playing pool or ping pong), I just find reasons not to ever do it. Lucky for me, I'm moderately successful at things right off the hop. In that way, I have a lot of fun (and call playing pool stupid. Because it is.)

There's one area I've always, always, always been an underachiever — health and fitness. I don't know what it is, but I've never really pushed myself; I've convinced myself that I always need a rest day, that 20 mins is enough, that walking around counts as exercise. I'm sure there are those worse off than me, but I tend to over estimate output and under estimate input, so to speak.

On day two of the new WW program, I'm realizing just how much those little things — cream in the coffee, tidying up the last of Chou's cheese or hummus or yogurt, a hunk of good chocolate — add up to many extra pounds. I'll be the first to say that I will always eat cheese, chocolate and yogurt. You should; it's good for you. But when moderation came to town, I looked the other way and made fun of people playing pool. I don't know how exactly to put this into words (which is funny, seeing as that's my profession), but I've never, ever put my heart and soul and overachiever attitude into my health and fitness.

I've improved some, yes. Four and a half years ago I started running. And, more or less, I've continued to. Somewhere along the way I lost 50 plus pounds (it can stay lost. I don't miss it). I eat better than I used to. I'm a better cook, too. But whenever it comes to a new fitness or health goal or regime, I tend to take the easy way out. I sign up for races and don't do them (some legitimately, others because of laziness, pure and simple). But, and this is where today's title comes from, even when I train, I don't train hard. I take full on rest days between 30 min workouts. Because for whatever reason I think I should? Um, right.

Today is day seven of Janathon. I have done yoga seven days in a row (a first for me), I have done either a 30 minute run/walk or Shred on alternating days. I have walked into town (always as fast as I can), and while on day three my muscles were sore, by day seven, now, I know that if I really wanted to I could go out and do a 30 minute run, even after Shred and yoga. 90 minutes of activity on one day does not in any way shape or form require me to rest the next day (well, except for a kick arse run, but we're not there yet, are we?)

If I learn nothing else from Janathon, it's this — activity is still rest, depending on what it is, and that each day I must move more and more, and then a bit more.

Janathon totals: Yoga 7/7, Run 3/7, Shred 3/7

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Raisins, avocado, dates, corn

Day one of the WW program is zooming along. I've already discovered several changes — most of which help to explain my gigantic weight gain in the last two months.
It would seem that under the new WW program MOST fruits and veggies are zero points, meaning you can eat as many as you like and it doesn't count towards your restricted intake for the day. Great! Except that many, many of my favorites (raisins, avocado and dates) still have a points value. Of course they do! Which means that while I've always eaten lots of good stuff, I've always typically been eating the most energy dense, highest fat options in the veggie world. Dammit.

I did have a bit of an Aha! moment today. While doing a new yoga sequence (my DVD has four and I had only tried two), I discovered supine pigeon (I go to the second variation but not all the way to human pretzel level). It felt so very good and — for the first time — caused my stomach to start gurgling away out of sheer joy. (For those who don't do massage on a regular basis, stomach gurgling happens when muscles/myofasica/etc. release. It happens to me during a really good massage). After yoga, I stood up and my glute/hip felt so much better. Not better better but better. Make sense? Good.

Also, I ran to drop off Chou this morning (only 3:30 mintues away), then continued to the 10 min mark, walked, then got so caught up in the music that I checked my watch - 20 min! That's right, I managed a 10 and 1 (vs. 5 and 1s I have been doing) without even really noticing. There is hope. A small glimmer, but still hope.

Janathon totals: Yoga 6/6, Run 3/6, Shred 2/6

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Janathon day 5: The one where I weigh myself

I should maybe sleep before I post.

Why? Well, I rejoined Weight Watchers tonight. Which means I weighed in. I knew it would be bad, I even mentally prepared myself for the worst. Which was good, seeing as my "worst" was nearly exactly my weight. In short, I thought I had gained about 10 pounds this year. In fact, I've gained 18.

WTF, Me?

When I put it down on paper, it all makes sense. In June, I stopped nursing Chou. For some, breastfeeding does not help them lose weight, for me, it was nature's way of saying "eat whatever you want! The baby will suck it out of you!" And she did. My fittest and leanest I've been in the past three (make that 16) years was when she was full on nursing and I was training for a half. There's a lesson there. Maybe. Second, I changed jobs in Feb/March, but was in the easy phase of my job. September started the busy season (and it's about to get much worse). Just prior to that, however, I buggered up my hip, putting any running on the back burner (as in, I just stopped. Everything). Then things got more than a little stressful here at home, and well, I started filling my face. And filling it some more. Then, in the last two months it all caught up with me. My guess is I've gained a full 10 to 12 pounds in just the last two months. Yes, really.

As far as eating goes, I started some bad habits, too — cream for my coffee and 2% milk the rest of the time, full fat cheese, too much pasta and potatoes and not enough leafy leafies. Somehow crackers and chips made there way back into our house, and I've been baking like crazy and not sharing.

The bottom line is, my goal of 15 lb by Chou's birthday is still my goal, but that will still leave me a full 16 pounds away from my goal weight (instead of another five or so). That's right...31 pounds to lose (and that's still on the high side of "acceptable" for my height, according to WW). THIRTY ONE POUNDS. What ticks me off is that I've done this all before. Jeepers, what was I thinking? This time last year I would have had only 13 to lose, not 31. That THAT just pisses me off.

But, alas, I'm rambling.

On the plus side, I'm really looking forward to getting to know the new WW program, and I walked home feeling upset with myself, but excited and empowered to get going on it. I only knew one person in the room of 15, meaning I might make some new friends. I also completely underestimated the value of having to weigh in in front of someone every week. I know, for a smart girl I sure can be dumb.

As fitting punishment to my new (high) low, I have a week's worth of meetings next week and have exactly ZERO dress pants that fit. Oh, did I mention I split my "fat" jeans on New Year's Eve? And every dress shirt I own is now tight on the arms or shows off more of my boobs than I'd like (even while I'm ovulating). What does all this mean? It means that I, Ms. CaddyWumpus, not only has to shop for new clothes (kill me now), but I have to buy all clothes one to two sizes bigger than I want to (kill me, I said!).

AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

That's right, all my fault. I get that. Which also means doing something about it is also entirely up to me. And so I shall.

Janathon totals: Yoga 5/5, Run 2/5, Shred 2/5 (plus today I walked to the WW meeting and back. A surprising number of people drove. Lazy bums!)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day Four: The one where I realize how out of shape I am

Today's Janathon totals: 34 minutes running (run/walk) with Chou in the Chariot and 1 hour of yoga (It's starting to feel really good!).

The run: Want to know how slow I was? I only covered 2.75 miles. The workout I cleared on the Garmin said 31 min/3.1 miles. Ugh. In fairness, it's winter (a balmy -10 degrees C), and my child weighs 32 ish pounds. Plus, she complained a lot and I had to stop a few times to adjust her snowsuit for fear of a full on meltdown if I didn't. We also managed to stop at the very snowy park for 15 minutes, meaning I got right chilled, but also had an unbelievably brilliant time on the slides with Chou.

Janathon totals: Run 2/4, Yoga 4/4, Shred 1/4. Boo yay.

Oh, and cheer on my fellow Janathoners, Smithers (aka "Sore Crotch") and Ms. Rice and Natalie (aka "Soon to be my friends".

Monday, January 3, 2011

Janathon, Day 3

Today I did Shred Level 1, with 5 lb weights, and did an hour of yoga.

Janathon's total: yoga 3/3, running 1/3, Shred 1/3...yes that means I've done dual workouts 2/3 days. Woot woot me!

Also, as part of Janathon, you're supposed to blog every day. This counts.

Yes it does.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Hello running, my old friend

And so, day two of Janathon has arrived, and let it be known that I am one for two days of running! Woot woot? Yes!
Yesterday was too damn cold (my limit is -20, not including windchill), but today was a balmy -15 with hardly any breeze. My strategy was this: go slow, run/walk and DON'T BUGGER UP THE HIP.
Check, check, check.

I went for time, not distance (31 mins, it turned out), I went super duper slow, did 4 and 1s and two 5 and 1s, and generally just shuffled along. I love love love the spikes on my shoes (they're not yaktraks, more just studs on rubber that attach to my shoes). Then I got home and convinced the Husband to do an hour of yoga with me. The Chou joined in (mostly by climbing on me). That makes it two out of two for yoga.

Why all the yoga and slowness? I likely haven't shared just how out of shape I became Sept to Dec. My estimate (which will be confirmed on Wednesday) is that I gained 10 lb in three-ish months, lost all muscle tone and managed, somehow, to tie up my entire left hip/glute/groin. Tie up is a horsey term, I know, but anyone who has done active release therapy knows what I mean when I say that I've got issues that need to release all over the place and no therapist to do it.

So the game plan is this. 1. Run, but only for 30 ish minutes and slowly, because running seems to be the only thing that aggravates the hip. 2. Yoga daily. I have an amazing "yoga for hips" dvd with four workouts. They are awesome and I swear after two days it's helping. 3. Strengthen glutes, core and inner thighs. This is the source of the problem. 4. Find a therapist that practices active release therapy. So far, it looks like I may have to fly to Ottawa to find one. It just might be worth it.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

It was -26 when I signed up for this


Oh, yes. I've joined Janathon 2011.
Does this mean I'm really going to start running again? Probably. Did I run today? No. Why? See title.
But I'm a sucker for joining things and then doing nothing about it, so let's make 2011 the year I stop doing that eh? Yes, let's.