I'm an idiot

As of today I still haven't gone running. Yesterday that pissed me off. Today, I'm OK with it and I'm actually not at all upset that I haven't done three miles or more today. I just feel better today, as if I needed the week off. I was ravenously hungry for carbs for a few days and honestly I felt badly about it. And then it hit me - my body was trying desperately to crack through this thick melon of mine and tell me that it needed some down time, some nourishment and some healing time. Begrudgingly, I gave in. I'm only now realizing that was the best thing I could've done.

To make its point, my body *alert - all men reading this who don't want to hear about uterus stuff run away now * even bled. I had a little spotting Thursday afternoon and a bit of me was so sad to think that I had started cycling again. It's been a lovely period holiday since getting knocked up with Chou Chou and while I know it'll be back someday, I want that day to be a few months from now. I was sad, but resigned. What can you do, right? But then, after a bit of old blood - nothing - for over 12 hours. Then a bit more (less than the first time), and then nothing at all. WTF? Lucky for me, my midwife and I still hang out and she's done a marathon and several half marathons. Over sushi, I told her about it.

"Oh that? Yeah, I always bleed after a half or a full. It's just some of the lining giving way after all that bouncing and stress on the body."

Um, really?

Turns out, she's right. (Insert Yay! here for not cycling yet). It's actually quite common, but also (and this is what hit me over the head and got me to wake up) it speaks to what my body has just gone through, while lactating, six months post partum.

The. Body. Needs. A. Break.

And today, I'm happy to have had a week of nothing. I no longer feel badly about it or want to berate myself for being lazy. I wasn't being lazy, I was resting.

Instead of being grumpy about all this, I'm getting excited. I've turned the corner in my thinking and I'm off on a new tangent. I'm excited because I've actually got a really good fitness base from which to work off of now. Sure, I'm not planning any half marathons until May, but there's a whole world of other stuff I can get working on, and it won't be that difficult to keep up a solid 6 mile running base. Imagine that - me! - always being at a fitness level that I could at any time go run 6 miles as a workout, not as a major accomplishment.

That's wicked good stuff, I tell myself.

And now, I'm off to visit for two weeks. I hope to update the blog while I'm there. I know I'll be running - but even if I do very little, it's OK. I've got a base. I ran a half marathon last week. That doesn't just disappear over night (or twelve).

Now, I just have to negotiate Halloween without going into a diabetic coma. Right.